


Keep You In My Arms

by roebling



Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: M/M, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-05
Updated: 2012-08-05
Packaged: 2017-11-11 12:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roebling/pseuds/roebling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Insecurities, real and imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep You In My Arms

**Author's Note:**

> IDEK. This is a string of very quickly written Youngjae/Daehyun vaguely canonical feels. These boys and the things they do to me.

"Aish, your skin ..." 

The makeup noona shakes her head and reaches into her black bag. Daehyun sinks lower down into his chair. He would gladly wear his mask for every single one of their promotions; it's just that it tends to get in the way when he sings. And people want to hear him sing. 

It's kind of incredible. 

His skin though ... it's bad again. He needs to ask the company to make him another appointment with the dermatologist, because he's broken out all along his jawline and his cheeks. It's really bad this time, and he feels embarrassed. The makeup noona is really good at what she does; she's got all kinds of magic stuff in that black bag of hers, but even her magic isn't going to be able to cover up all of Daehyun's zits. Not this time. 

Someone's going to notice. The fans are going to notice and say stuff online. He's sure they will. 

"Stop making faces at yourself in the mirror, Won Bin." 

Himchan drops down into the seat next to Daehyun, grinning. Jongup trails along behind him, a distant look in his eyes. He takes it all in -- the crowds and the waits and the long trips across the country where they perform one song and then turn around and drive five hours back to Seoul -- and he doesn't let any of that phase him. 

Daehyun is jealous of that. He's jealous of Himchan too, and his stupid ulzzang face and his stupid clear skin. 

"I wasn't making faces," he says. "I was just thinking." 

"Well stop that too," Himchan says, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. "Take a page from Jonguppie here." 

Jongup grins, like he's not quite sure if he's been insulted or complimented. 

Daehyun just shakes his head. 

"Himchannie hyung, stop teasing Daehyung. Yumi noona is ready to do your hair." 

Youngjae comes up with his hands on his hips. He's already dressed in his stage clothes. Daehyun wouldn't presume to know anything about fashion, but he can't help but think that the big jacket and baggy pants, all splattered and dripping with paint, look kind of like a dirty garbage bag.

Himchan rolls his eyes. "I'm going," he says. 

Youngjae sits down in the chair Himchan vacates. His hair has already been done -- the unshaven half twisted and molded into stiff, gelled spikes. Youngjae touches his hand to one of the spikes self-consciously. 

Daehyun smiles. "It looks fine," he says. He doesn't want Youngjae to feel uncomfortable because of his hair. 

Youngjae just rolls his eyes.

"I look like a durian. But I made noona promise that next comeback I get normal hair," he says, grinning. "Well, more normal." 

Daehyun frowns and starts to reply but the makeup noona stops him with a hand on the shoulder. 

"Hold still," she scolds. "I'm almost finished." 

Daehyun murmurs an apology and lets her go about her work. When she's done, she steps back. She's done a good job, but he can still see the blemishes along his jawline. 

"Very handsome," Youngjae says. 

Daehyun doesn't think that's true -- doesn't know how that could be true because he's not even really that good looking (his nose is too big) and all he can see is his bad skin. "I'm all spotty," he blurts out, unable to help himself. 

Youngjae smiles at him. "You can't even tell," he says. "You look great. You believe me, right?" 

Daehyun doesn't, but he really, really wants to. He nods, and wonders if he should say something back. If Youngjae needs a boost of confidence, though, he never shows it -- not even when he's got durian hair. 

*****

It's almost one in the morning when they get back to the dorms. They were on a late night radio show and it's good exposure, but Daehyun feels so tired he thinks his eyeballs might fall out. Joonhong fell asleep on the ride home, head on Jongup's shoulder. They try to wake him when they get back, but he's sluggish and delirious. Yongguk hyung and Himchan hyung sling his arms around their necks and half-drag him inside. 

It's rough, being an idol. Daehyun knew it would be hard work, but it's harder even than he thought it would be. 

"You sounded really good tonight." 

Youngjae is the last out of the van, grabbing Joonhong's bag and sweatshirt. 

Daehyun smiles. "Thanks," he says. "Um, sorry they kept making me sing. You should have ..." 

The hosts had requested one song after another from him, and Daehyun hadn't know what to do but sing. His band mates had cheered and clapped after each song, Youngjae as loud as anyone, but Daehyun had been mortified. 

Youngjae shakes his head. "They wanted to hear you." 

"Yeah, but ..." 

Youngjae puts a hand on Daehyun's shoulder. "Don't worry about it," he says. 

Daehyun nods. 

In the dorm, it's surprisingly quiet. Joonhong is already asleep, and Jongup isn't far behind. Yongguk is at his computer and Himchan's showering.

Daehyun goes to the other bathroom and washes his face well. His skin's a little better now, but he's got scars and imperfections that will never go away, that he can never ignore. He sighs, and rubs in his night cream. 

In the bedroom, the maknaes are sleeping, and Youngjae is changing into gym shorts and a tank top. 

"Are you going to bed?" Daehyun asks. 

"In a little bit," Youngjae says. 

Daehyun frowns. He knows that Youngjae is going to go work out, and on a night like this, when there are dark circles under his eyes and the skin over his cheekbones seems stretched too tight, it really makes Daehyun mad. It makes him mad that those stupid fans would say such a thing, and it makes him mad that Youngjae cares. 

Of course, Daehyun would care too, if the tables were turned. 

"Okay," he says. "Don't stay up too late." 

"I won't," Youngjae says, smiling. "Goodnight." 

Daehyun gets into bed, but it's hard to fall asleep. He lays there in the dark and tries to steady his breathing, but he can't help but worry. When he joined the group he worried that the other vocalist would hate him, that they'd never be friendly, that there would be a perpetual grudge against the new guy who stepped in at the last second and stole all the best lines. 

It's not like that at all, though. Youngjae is his best friend, he thinks. 

Himchan hyung comes in from his shower, and is too loud when he opens his dresser drawers. Daehyun rolls over and tries to ignore the noise. Even after Himchan goes to bed, Daehyun is awake, blinking at the dark ceiling. Even after Yongguk goes to bed, he stays awake. 

Only once Youngjae comes in, much more quietly than his hyungs, does Daehyun shut his eyes and let himself sleep. 

*****

"I think our Daehyun is the most popular," Youngjae says. 

"Oh, really?"

"Yes," Youngjae says. "The noonas really like him. They made him the name 'Busan Won-Bin'." 

Daehyun can feel his cheeks heating. "No," he blurts out. 

The host looks at him, smirking. "You don't agree, Daehyun-sshi?" 

"It's the maknae," he mumbles, unhappy to have all the attention focused on him. "Zelo. He's ... uh. He has the most followers on twitter." 

"Oooh, social networking," the host exclaims. "Yes, I hear your Zelo is very popular. His selcas have been a hot issue ..." 

Joonhong laughs and says something awkward and Daehyun is just glad they've stopped talking about him. It's dumb, anyway, and he feels bad, because if twitter followers if the barometer of popularity they're using, well ... if it is, then Youngjae is last, and that's just not right. It's not right at all. 

*****

"Wow." 

Youngjae smirks. "It looks okay, then, I guess?" He runs a hand over the short, dark hair above his temple. It looks really soft.

Daehyun kind of wants to do the same. 

"Looks really good," he says. 

"Ah, for once the stylist noonas took pity on me," Youngjae says. He sits down on the couch next to Daehyun, so close their legs are touching. Not that that's anything out of the ordinary. "I wonder who they're going to torture this comeback." 

"Probably me," Daehyun says, frowning. "I bet it's my turn." 

Youngjae shakes his head. "Nah," he says. He cups Daehyun's cheek with his hand. His palm is soft and a little sweaty, but Daehyun doesn't mind. Not really. "They wouldn't want to distract from this handsome face." 

"Cut it out," Daehyun says, frowning. He digs his fingers into the soft place beneath Youngjae's ribs, and Youngjae squirms. He's gotten stronger, in the last few months, and he grabs Daehyun's wrists and holds them still. 

"No tickling!" Youngjae's cheeks are flush and his eyes are bright and they're really close to one another -- chest to chest, belly to belly. 

Then the door opens, and Yongguk hyung slinks in, with his hood pulled way up. 

"Ooooh," Youngjae says, still holding onto Daehyun's arms. (Daehyun wonders if he can feel how fast his heart is beating.) "What did they do to you, Yonggukkie hyung?" 

Yongguk pouts. "It's not good," he says. 

"Let us see. You'll have to let us see sooner or later." Daehyun laughs and grins. 

Yongguk pushes back his hood. It's ... colorful. 

"Hmm," Youngjae says. "Looks like ketchup and mustard. Can we start calling you hotdog hyung?" 

Yongguk scowls. "You punk! Daehyunnie, hold him!" He lets out a roar and falls on Youngjae and tickles him too, mercilessly. Daehyun joins in and they're all laughing and flailing and Youngjae is trying to escape but they hold him and keep tickling until he's begging them for mercy. And at some point, when they're all sitting back panting and breathless, Daehyun looks over at Youngjae, who is smiling and red-faced completely gorgeous -- 

And Daehyun would like to write it off as the haircut but it's not, it's really not -- or it's more than that anyway. It's his smile and his confidence and his dorkiness and all of it. 

Startled, he stands up. 

Youngjae and Yongguk both look at him. 

"Sorry," he says. "I need water." 

Youngjae grabs his pant leg before he can step away. "Get me a glass too, will you?" 

Daehyun just nods and retreats to the kitchen.

*****

They always share a hotel room. It didn't start out that way, but somehow along they line they paired up so decisively that nobody ever tries to make Youngjae room with Himchan (a recipe for disaster) or Daehyun with Jongup. 

They've had a concert today, in some rural corner of Korea, far away from the glitz of Seoul. It reminds Daehyun of being home, a little bit. He's still a country boy, even now, even after he's been on television _dozens of times_ and flown in an airplane overseas and everything. 

Youngjae called first shower, when they got back to the room. He comes out of the bathroom now in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. His shoulders are a lot broader these days, and his waist is a lot narrower, but his belly is still just a little bit soft. Not too much though. He looks fine, but then Daehyun thinks he always did. 

"You should go shower," Youngjae says. "It's late." He hands Daehyun a towel. 

"Right," Daehyun says. 

They sleep in one bed that night, for no reason other than they're young and tired and lonely but never alone. Daehyun doesn't even have to ask. Youngjae just pulls back the covers and gets in beside him. And there's just one awkward moment before Daehyun puts arm over Youngjae's waist and pulls him close. He'll be the big spoon, because he can't think of any other way to let Youngjae know how much he worries about him, how much he worries about all of this. 

He presses his nose to the back of Youngjae's neck, where the short dark hair is starting to grow in. His hand is on Youngjae's chest, and he rubs his fingers against the muscle and soft skin. 

"You're going to start giving Jonguppie a run for his money soon," Daehyun says, quietly. 

"Please," Youngjae says. "You're insulting Jongup." 

Daehyun frowns. "That's not ..." He bites his lip. "You were never fat." 

Youngjae laughs, softly. Daehyun can't see his face, has no idea what he's thinking. "I know that," he says, "but it didn't hurt me to lose a few pounds, did it?" 

Daehyun just sighs and holds him tighter.


End file.
